By the time I reached campus, I met my friend who had also done research last semester. I hadn’t eaten anything yet, and without me even asking, she bought me breakfast. I was so thankful, maybe it sounds simple, but at that moment, kindness like that felt huge. Around 8 AM, the conference began with several speeches, including one from the Minister of Communication and Information, Meutya Hafid, and followed by presentations from professors and doctors from universities abroad. In the middle of all that, I managed to meet my lecturer for a quick discussion about an organizational program I’m leading. It turned into a surprisingly fun conversation when I found out he’s actually a huge nerd, a Star Wars and Marvel fan who even reads the original comics. I told him I liked The Punisher, and he ended up knowing more about it than I did. Honestly, I didn’t expect that from a lecturer, but it made me admire him more, passionate, smart, and down to earth.
The event ran until around 11, then continued again after lunch at 12:30, which was my turn. Before that, I was so nervous I drank four glasses of water that were supposed to be for my supervisor and friend. I kept rehearsing, going over my slides again and again, reading my notes just in case I forgot something. But when my name was finally called, everything changed. My fear just vanished. I introduced myself, started explaining my research, and for the first time in days, I wasn’t panicking. I spoke clearly and confidently, maybe a bit too fast because of the time limit, but fully focused. No one asked questions afterward, and that relief and joy were indescribable. My supervisor gave me a thumbs up, and after the session, we took some photos together before she left, leaving lunch for me and my friend. I also want to give a big shoutout to my seniors, Kak Shinta and Kak Mila, who inspired me to get involved in research last semester and helped me reach this conference. And of course, Dr. Lucy Kissick from YouTube’s The PhDiaries, I love watching her, and some of her tips really helped me prepare. She’s such an inspiring academic, and it felt great to carry a little of that guidance into my own presentation.
My friend’s boyfriend came with flowers, and one of my classmates, the first person I met when I entered this campus years ago brought me mochi. It was such a small, sweet thing, but honestly, that mochi felt like exactly what I needed after such a long, nerve-wracking day. Then I got a call from my old friend, Abdel Fattah, who was in Malang attending the wedding of one of my closest friends from middle school, Adam Rosyid. I felt this mix of happiness and sadness because I couldn’t be there, today was the same day as my conference, the final requirement before I could graduate. Abdel told me about the wedding, the moments, the laughter, and for a second I could almost picture it all. I was happy for them, but at the same time, a quiet part of me felt a bit melancholic realizing how fast life moves. We’re all getting older, walking our own paths, growing apart yet still connected by shared memories that never really fade.
When I was about to go home around 4 PM, my juniors surprised me with a box of my favorite red velvet donuts from Taman Heulang, the best donuts in Bogor, hands down and a funny poster they made for me. I laughed so much when I saw it. Later that evening, I received a flood of congratulatory messages, from my mom, my siblings, my old school friends, and my close friends on campus. And of course, a special mention to my senior and close friend, Khariz Gylbran, during the past few months, we spent countless hours together working on our respective research at cafes, sharing ideas, talking about random things, sometimes just sitting quietly in our own focus. He’s one of the people who made this whole journey lighter and more meaningful.
When the day finally ended, I just sat there in silence, letting the whole day replay in my head like an episode of Life Is Strange. It’s funny because October 11, the same date when the storm hits in the game and Max has to decide between saving Chloe or the entire town of Arcadia Bay. That scene always felt heavy, but today, it weirdly made sense. My life obviously wasn’t crashing into a tornado, but it did feel like one of those moments when everything shifts a little, when choices, coincidences, and timing all line up in a way that almost feels scripted. From dyeing my hair at dawn just to calm my nerves, to friends showing up at the right time with kindness I didn’t even ask for, to realizing people I grew up with are moving on with their lives while I stand at a new beginning of mine, it all connected somehow. Maybe that’s the strange part of life, how chaos and beauty can exist in the same breath. Like Yoda once told Anakin “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose” And maybe that’s what today was teaching me, that growing up isn’t about controlling everything, but learning to let go, to trust the weird timing of life, and to love it anyway, even when it feels like the universe is hitting record button on a story you’re still trying to understand.
