Okay, I still don’t know how to explain that day without sounding stupid, but here we go...
It was early November, right in the middle of midterm season, and my campus uses computer-based tests with the screen shared + webcam always on, so the pressure was already high. If I remember correctly, it was the second day of exams, I came home feeling completely tired, and when I say tired, I mean like the brain-empty, soul-tired. I’ve been handling way too many things besides studying for exams. I was making a small research piece for my application to be a writer for Abigail and the WIUI team, getting ready for my duties as a committee member for the RLF 2025 event in Surabaya and Bromo, and on top of that, a bunch of people kept coming to me for help with their personal stuff.
OH BY THE WAY... I actually got interviewed directly by Abigail herself, and man… I stutterd a lot and I was sweating too because I lowkey couldn’t believe she was the one interviewing me. At that point, I genuinely forgot what “free time” even feels like. God knows when I’ll ever get one again hahaha…haha…ha :(
And then, out of all the unlucky options life could’ve thrown at me, my laptop decided to betray me. It fell and the worst part is I wasn’t even near it so I don’t know how it fell or what cause it? and even though it was protected inside a bag, it still ended up with a broken fan and a cracked body. I just stood there staring at it like “Great. Perfect. Amazing. How am I supposed to take the exam for tomorrow?”
I called my classmate, the one who just bought a new laptop because her old one died, hoping she’d magically have a solution for me. But of course, laptops don’t just spawn out like that LOL. I tried asking around, seeing if someone had an extra one, but everyone only owns one. Obviously.
The worst part is that I really really love this laptop. I wanted it to stay with me until my master’s degree. So seeing it break at the exact moment I needed it the most was frustrating. When I called my mom, she said something that hasn’t left me since:
“If something is meant to die, it will, no matter how well you take care of it.”
For some reason, that made it easier to accept… or at least pretend to.
The next day I went to campus with absolutely zero expectations and painfully with no laptop in my bag. I explained everything to my lecturer and asked if I could take the exam on paper, thankfully they allowed it. That small act of kindness felt huge at the time. After the test, my mom told me to just buy a new laptop and said she’d help with the budget. I swear that night I instantly became a full-time tech researcher. I had a hundreds of tabs open comparing specs, watching reviews, etc. But y’know in the end, I just couldn’t do it. I know that this might be hella risky but I chose to repair my old laptop instead, even though not everything could be fixed. I guess that’s how attached I am to this little machine that’s been with me through deadlines, stress, and way too many late nights. So when it finally turned on again, it genuinely felt like a resurrection. I was staring at the screen like it was a miracle and screaming “YES, my little guy is back” and in my head it felt less like a repair and more like that Darth Vader dramatic revival scene, heavy breathing, lights coming back on except instead of becoming a Sith Lord, my laptop just booted up and went back to suffering under my assignments XD
Now that it’s working (well, mostly), I can finally start doing things properly again, including writing this blog article. I just got back from Surabaya after being part of a committee for an event, so the past few weeks have been pure chaos. But now that I’m “home” in Bogor and life is starting to slow down a bit, I finally have the space to breathe… and write.
My next blog will probably be about Surabaya and Bromo whether it’s the fun parts, the messy parts, the weirdly meaningful parts, and everything I learned along the way. There’s a lot. So yeah…
stay tuned!
